Here it is over a year since Mom has been gone and I'm finally going through boxes filled with "things". We already did an immediate cleaning out of her clothes and very personal effects - the things that leave surviving children in tatters - sending them off in a container to Zimbabwe and Zambia. People there don't mind if a button is missing on a blouse or the style is from 20 years ago. Mom would have been happy to see her things benefiting others, after all, she volunteered with the Clothes Closet when we were attending Hillside elementary school. Our family room often had stacked bags of lost and found or hand-me-down clothing that Mom would mend and wash to be sent on to new owners. Mom taught us the value of reusing, recycling and even up-cycling. Yes, it's all your fault Mom. You turned me into a beady-eyed trash digger who's heart starts racing when I drive by a dumpster with cast offs from the end-of-the-school-year college kids. That's a whole other topic to tell you about...more on that in another post.
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| Old cards from her grandmother |
Back to the cards and letters detail... Mom saved her cards and letters. All of them. Actually, I can't quite tell yet, but it seems that early on, she was particular about what she kept and as time went on, she appears to have saved every single letter, postcard, Christmas and birthday card and everything in between. Beginning with a smattering of birthday cards from a few close relatives when she was a child to correspondence from boyfriends gone off to college or war to the letters that were written between my parents when they were dating. Each successive year she received more letters due to her own prolific writing of letters. I've found lists of who she had written to and received Christmas cards from. To Mom, it was a huge faux pas if you didn't send a Christmas card to the person that YOU received a card from. She was careful not to exclude anyone in the family but in later years, the list grew smaller and names dropped off as family and friends passed on or someone would just stop responding.
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| So many stacks and there's many more! |
Currently, I've gone through just three boxes of perhaps a dozen; two large enough to hold a toaster oven and the other the size of a boot box. Do you know how many cards and letters you can fit into a boot box? A lot. So I've been organizing them by sender. I'm organizing them because, like my mother, I can't throw them away. They will be returned to the sender (if possible) for them to enjoy. I thought that it would be interesting for at least some of the senders to re-read what they had written. To me, they're like a journal that was written where one can read back to remind them of what it was like on the date of that card or letter. I don't think that people think about the possibility of coming across their own letters later on. I didn't think about what might happen to that letter I sent - wailing about my living situation; or the Mother's Day card with the sentiment that I KNOW I wrote to my Mom with tears in my eyes when I'd come to my senses about just how much work it was to raise kids. It was a slap upside my head at that moment when I realized how much Mom had sacrificed for her children and her husband.
I also don't think that Mom intended to record misunderstandings and bad behavior at family gatherings, but she did! Mom would get letters from both sides explaining their position and knowing her, she must have remained neutral, and kind in her responses. These cards and letters also reveal some family history as well as who lived where and the longest and dearests friendships she held. One very dear friend she stayed close to since her days in the WAVES takes the prize for the most cards and letters.... both Elizabeth Anne and my Grandmother (or Mama to Mom) maintained a monthly correspondence for as long as they lived.
I have a lot of reading and sorting to do don't I!
