Beautiful Durango

The La Plata Mountains, Southwest Colorado

I've been looking at the majestic La Plata mountains from the deck of my house-stay position for the past several weeks.  I'm here in Durango, Colorado 6512 feet in elevation with over 300 sunny days a year, more than Orlando, Florida or Hollywood, California!  My charges have been two lovable doggies, Crash and Ebby and Clyde the Killing Cat.  Their "Mom and Dad" (Karen and Todd) went on a trip to Panama for two weeks, leaving the biting cold behind for us ~ in the past few days the temperature dropped  below zero, but that's mild compared to the rest of the country caught in this latest storm.

Crash & Ebby

Everyday the boys and I would take two walks, one in the morning, one in the afternoon or evening...and on occasion, a night time walk with blinking collars.  The walks gave me a lot of time to think about the many changes taking place in my life... and to be grateful for them.  Challenges never leave us where they found us and I'm finding that I am acquiring confidence and clarity to move forward - whatever may come.

Will, Maria, Clint & Kari at Snowdown

 

Me & Maria

So.... the big Snowdown celebration came and went through downtown Durango.  Snowdown is a  wacky, crazy themed party that's carries on for a  week with more than 80 contests and events including follies, costume contests, a fashion show, night parade, underwater poker tournament and too many more to mention.  You can check it out if you like here ~ http://www.snowdown.org/  

Sam holding Franklin's quilt

Mom (Grandma), Maresa & Sam

I thought I might have had time to plow through my costume boxes for a Snowdown cosutme... no such luck, but I did take a moment to recall how Mom could create functional and fun attire for any occasion.  She was a great creator of home-made costumes and encouraged creativity during Halloween and other events involving unusual garb.  Mom made all my dance costumes as well as dresses, skirts, tops, and even a bathing suit or two.  Fortunately for me, she had the patience to pass some of her sewing skills on to me starting with darning socks (a defunct need) and mending jeans.  Most of my sewing has been for others like the foofie apron Mom is wearing or the baby quilt for my great-nephew Franklin... it is something I love to do to this day so thank you Mom! 

woodpecker outside the window

It's time to get some rest for the early morning departure to California tomorrow.  First thing I'll need to pick up  several more chickens and some home-made tamales of Victor's.  The extra forty minutes it will take will be worth it!  It's different here in this rural community where a longer commute to the store or work or the cafe is standard, but living on the outskirts has it's advantages...  You can actually listen and hear nothing but birds singing, the drip-drip of snow melting or an icicle shattering as it hits a rock; the air moving through trees with an occasional squirrel chattering.  It's absolute bliss and I'll miss that almost as much as dear friends.  So long for now Durango... I'll hold you all close in my heart!

It's About My Mom (part 2)

 The holidays have come and gone.  Mom's memorial services too.  I find that  it's hard for me to write about her...to think too hard about the recent past. I simply need to turn away from the ache in my heart and fill it with as much gratitude as I possibly can; filled with the many memories of my childhood and how my mom supported me and my siblings 

My Mom was quite pretty.  She must have known that she was attractive, but I never saw her act vain really.  In fact, one day just a few months ago, she had just been washing her face and after looking at herself in the bathroom mirror, she exclaimed to me "I just want a new face!"  That comment alarmed me.  I had never heard her say anything quite like it before.  Now that she had reached a certain maturity, she felt frustrated by age I suppose and how she thought it made her look.

Jean Troise, Jojo's mom

My dear friend Jojo's sweet mother, Jean, who is 90 years young, always complimented Mom.  They would see each other at the AARP ballroom dances on Saturday mornings and Jean would say that Mom was constantly out on the floor dancing with all the guys, that she looked so beautiful and was popular (well, so is Jean!).  When she heard that Mom had passed on, she cried; and cried again at the next dance knowing that she wouldn't see her at the dances again. 

My sister Janet and me

My sister Janet often went with Mom to the dances and while she wasn't much for dancing, she did enjoy seeing Mom doing something she loved and she made sure that Mom made it to as many of them as possible.  I must give credit to granddaughter Rebekah who asked her grandmother during her visit last November, what it was that she enjoyed doing.  Her grandmother told her about the dances that she used to attend before she was married, and Bekah passed that on to us and we started looking for someplace that she could engage in this activity.  Thanks to Bekah, her grandmother was again doing something she loved to do, but wouldn't have done if not for us "guiding" her in that direction.  The last dance that she attended, she went on her own, dressed in the cutest gauzy skirt and matching blouse, fall colors and pretty little coral earrings.  I actually helped her with her make up that day and she went confidently out the door.  Little did either of us know, that would be her last dance.  She often returned and would tell us about how much she danced, that she never sat down and that even Janet got up and danced once.  It was an activity that brought her much joy... so thank you Bekah for discovering your grandma's hidden desire and to Janet that prompted her to get up and go dance!

Bekah's breakfast with her Grandma

I miss my Mom.  I thought about calling her again today.  It's what I did since I moved to Colorado fourteen years ago. Sometimes I would go for several weeks without talking to her and she would tell my sister Janet or brother Paul, that "Nadine must be too busy."  I think back on this and other times when I didn't really act like I appreciated my Mom.  We bumped heads over small things...or rather, I dug my front legs in like a stubborn burro at the least little uninvited words of advice.  At 35 years old, I didn't want my Mom asking me if I'd brushed my teeth yet; at 40 I didn't want her pointing out that my hair was "stringing down into my eyes"... or calling my friends looking for me.  What I didn't understand was that my Mom was a mother to her core. She gave up her dreams and aspirations to be the best mother she could be.  At one time, she was on her way to an art education ~ and then later, thought about a career in fashion art.  I thought that Mom must have been disappointed that she never fullfilled those dreams, but she wasn't.  Her dream changed to one of family.  Mom became fully committed to raising her children and lovingly supporting her husband with no looking back.

Mom... in her soft voice asking "what would I do without my family" was strong in her love for God and her family...to the end of her life here on earth

Next... more on Mom, but more light hearted!

It's About My Mom (Part 1)

There's been another long gap in this "daily diary"  1) because I'm somewhat lazy,  2) because writing for me is difficult, but the biggest reason is because my sweet Mom passed on rather suddenly and quickly the end of October.  As you might imagine, I didn't feel much like writing;  I actually didn't feel much like doing anything except it sure has been easy to feel sad and cry.

Mom and her new friends

It has only been a few weeks but I feel the need to shake off sadness and sorrow.   If I know my Mom, she wouldn't want to inconvenience anyone for any reason, let alone have them suffer or be sad on her account.  Mom often would tell me during stays with her that she didn't want me to spend my "vacation" working or having to help her.  I'd have to remind her that the whole reason for my being there WAS to help her and that she was my Mom and that I should be allowed to help my own Mom.  I'd remind her that I wasn't on vacation as I had no job- that being there with her was now my "job" and with that she'd raise her eyebrows, say to me, "oh really?" and relent. 

So... during my stay in August, timed to coincide with Southern California's fig season, Mom and I did some jamm'n - fig jamming that is.  Her large fig tree has regularly produced a bounty of fruit every year, enough to fill the pantry with jars of  yummy brown-speckled pineapple-fig jam as well as several weeks of fresh figs to fig-lover friends and family.  But something was different during the 2009 fig season.  Mom didn't pick many figs and they ended up in the compost pile; she only made one small pot of jam which together we cooked and canned when I came in October.  It had gotten to be too much work picking the fruit, washing it, cutting it up and cooking, adding ingredients and stirring the sugary mass in her big kettle and then boiling the jars, filling them, sealing them... so this past summer, we worked together.  Samuel (her grandson, my nephew), would head over after school to help with the picking.   I'd wash them and Mom would sit at the table and cut up them up; I'd put enough for a double batch into the big kettle and add the rest of the ingredients, cook, stir then can.  We put up several dozen pints and a dozen or so half-pints. We'd do this while popping the freshest figs (the ones that were surely going to spoil otherwise) into our eager mouths which was an added perk of the job.

Puzzlemasters Grandma and Samuel

Another thing we worked on together were some puzzles.  This wasn't an easy thing to get Mom to do since putting together puzzles, to her, was sort of a waste of time.  I explained that it would be a good exercise for  thinking, and besides, while we were working on the puzzle together, we could talk and visit and that would be nice.  She agreed and together (with help from Sam, Paul and Janet), the puzzles were completed with lots of banter and chatter.  I think Mom really did enjoy the "waste of time."

Mom and I had our routines.  She would get up in the morning, make herself some tea and study her Bible lesson.  I would get up later and hurry out the door to my Jazzercise class calling out to her that I'd be back in 1 hour.  Almost always, when I came back, there would be a half of banana, cereal bowl with spoon beside it and a cup for coffee and a cup for juice sitting on the table for me.  Never mind that I rarely ate cereal anymore or even ate breakfast but it would be there for me regardless.  Mom never stopped being my Mom.

My beautiful Mom

Ah, my Mom.  I miss her so.  Today as I was driving down I-70 to Denver, I started to hit her number on speed dial.  I often would call her from my cell phone while driving - and yes, I use hands-free.  She'd ask me where I was this time and we'd talk for a few minutes or until I reached my destination.  She couldn't keep track of where I would be since it seems like the last several years I was always driving some long distance from home in Durango.   For that short moment, a blink, a second, my Mom was still there at the other end of the phone line... I even heard her voice...."Nadine, I was just thinking of you!" and she would let out a little laugh.  Then quickly, I realized that she wouldn't be there.  Not her voice, not her laugh ever again.  Then, later in the evening as I was driving back up to Evergreen, I did it again. I'm miffed at myself for erasing her last voice mail she left me.  It went something like, "Nadine, I'm calling because I would like to know if you will be home for supper.  Will you call me please?  This is your mother."  I'm just so mad that I erased it because right about now, it would be nice to hear her voice.

 ~ Blue eyes all around ~

Well, this is a difficult lesson for me, for anyone.  Never, ever take anything fore granted.  I just lived each day for that moment really, not thinking that I should really drink in and soak up each and every instant with my entire being.  No harsh words, no unkind or impatient words and absolutely make time for those you love and who love you.  I'm going to look you in your eyes so I can see every color in them.  I'm going to touch your hand and hug you tight.  If you need to talk about anything, I'll listen for however long you want... I'm going to do this for you, for anyone because I only did it for a too short time for her.  What I saw were the bluest, most beautiful eyes ever... they love me and I am ever grateful.

Next ~ It's About My Mom (Part 2)

Denver and First Place at the Fair

A quick trip to Denver over a month ago was filled with activity, fun, good food and a big miss.  I'm so sorry to have missed spending time with my grandson Styles (who is as cute as a button).  It just got too busy and with so much to do, well excuses, excuses.

Granma DeanDean & Evan

Lilly eyes her mac 'n cheese

It was a bit of a whirlwind trip which my friend Sharon is incredible at planning and then, having the plan actually work out. Nice! We had two days to make the most of seeing our grandchildren.  There were visits with Janelle and Evan, Bryant and Evan, Hanna and Lily and a nighty-night to Styles, noodles at TOTT (that's Talk of the Thai), swimming and up to Evergreen Lake for some splashing about in paddle boats with family.  Multiple trips to pit toilet restrooms drew interesting comments from Evan (who is 4), then a quick stop at the park in Golden and more promised swimming with just enough time on the meter for a planned dinner at The Cheesecake Factory. Yum!  Box up the cheesecake for later...back to Hanna and Lilly's and then hotel to pack up for an early start back to Durango. Whew!  It went quick.

Disco Scarecrow - recycled stuff

Winning isn't everything, but eating is!

Meantime...back at the Fair in Durango... my scarecrow entry was staring down the judges while Chimono, our rooster was pacing in his cage with attitude.  Not accustomed to being confined, he must have been frustrated by the close proximity of so many other roosters that he was unable to challenge properly.  All together, my Fair entries ended earned me a whopping $8.  $2 for first place entries and $1 for second.  The ribbons are great bookmarks too!  Next year I'm shooting for an even $10.

Of course it's really not about winning anything but just participating in a good, old-fashioned county fair with other like-minded folks...many who work hard all year to bring the fruits of their hard work to sell or show off.  The 4H kids and families have labored all year and the Fair is the place where they quantify their endeavors.

Evan, Sharon and Hanna

After the 8 hour trip back to Durango with Sharon and Lilly, who made the trip possible at all... I was just tuckered out... unpacked the car and was going to settle in when I noticed some new friends in the yard... two new chickens and a bunny!  That's what I get for asking my husband to pick up Chimono the rooster from the Fair.  So that was on a Sunday... and I needed to be leaving for an extended visit to Mom's in California in just two days!  Better get moving then... the plan is to do some canning - fig jam, garden relish and whatever else pops up as well as take Mom on some day trips...maybe to the beach.

Up next... the trip to Cali and back home to Durango.

Fun Times - on the river - in the garden...

There's a reason this blog is called "not so daily. " Nuff said there.

Maria & Clint went tubing too

Yesterday turned out to be a warm, sunny Monday what with all the monsoon weather dumping rain on the four corners region, it was a nice change.  The Animas river is running high for August which is good for river riders and the businesses that rely on them and after a last minute phone call to my friend Dana, we met for a tube ride down the river.  It's relaxing.  It's fun.  When the sun goes behind the clouds, it's chilly. My tube starting losing air but it lasted the hour and a half bobbing, bumpy ride to the take out.  Fun times!

Back home after a ten day house and pet-sitting stay usually requires an adjustment.  Victor (my husband) has a "different" concept of landscaping - preferring to employ  "useful tings" (as he puts it), as decorations.  It's always a joy to pull up to the house to see what new items have been added to the landscape.  Upon my return home this time, there was a child's bike (no front wheel), an adult bike (it actually rides very nicely), a construction work zone partially blocking the parking area and a 1964 new/old step van that he is smartening up for his dream-of-a-lifetime specialty meals on wheels, hot tamale wagon food-to-go business.  He is excited!  I'm glad that he is excited...really.  The painting business has taken an extended dive off a cliff and perhaps this will be the parachute.

Sunny morning

So... my current contribution to the household has been my garden.  At first I thought it was doomed.  Everything seemed to be sampling the new plants before they even had a chance to take root. It was hot - and dry.  I'd been fending off chickens sneaking into the growing ground to scratch.  I was beginning to think that my green thumb had turned black and then - the rains came.  Every afternoon, or evening; or throughout the night...what a joy!  Such a welcome respite!  Not only does the water bill adjust...but the garden...oh the garden grew. 

Sunflowers and hollyhocks

Now I have some very large squash to enter at the La Plata County Fair this week.  Now I have flowers surrounding and concealing my garden fence.  Now there is hope that there will be some canning activity and fresh vegetables for the table... and to share.  This garden gives me a sense of accomplishment while I have no gainful employment.  Sure, I'm finding ways to take care of my financial obligations, but it's a day to day sort of a thing.  My garden has become a strong focus and it's success holds my self-worth in it's curling tendrils of snap peas, rigorously growing cucumbers and  fragrantly abundant herbs.  Since I've been back home, I've spent some hours plucking weeds from the beds; thinning the chard and spinach; tying up the tomatoes and cukes and harvesting.

Tomorrow is the day I take my entries to the fair... and because I didn't know if I'd have any produce to show, I decided to take some of my husband's useful stuff (and some of mine too) and assemble an entry for the scarecrow contest.  Using whatever I could find, it has come together to form a rather unconventional figure that is certain to ward off undesirables.  If it doesn't, then it's sure to make people scratch their heads and wonder "wha...?"  (I'll post a picture when it's fully assembled).

Little alarm clocks

Finally, I just have to mention the new chicken additions.  These cute little cochin batams were not my idea especially since all four are roosters. But... they really are too cute with their feathered feet and small statures.  They roam unruffled as one when scratching around the property, obediently returning to their enclosure early each afternoon.  They are, of course, one of Victor's acquisitions given to him eagerly and without cost - but what does one do with four small black roosters?  Because they are young and used to one another, they aren't aggressive and they don't eat much...but they have this habit of repeated vocalizations each morning close to 5am.  One starts a gurgling crow...and they politely take turns for just about an hour and then a sudden but welcome quiet.  What to do?  You tell me.  Would anyone like an adorable living alarm clock? 

Next up... a trip to Denver to see family and friends.

Mixing Bowls

Last night I dreamed that I was trapped within a matrix of mixing bowls.  They weren't exactly real mixing bowls...just configured like they stack, one inside of the other.  Whatever this meant, I haven't yet figured through it and I don't know if I care enough to try.  Then... another night prior to dropping off, I was overwhelmed with feelings of anguish and uncertainty.  My toes were clenched, my fingers were in fists and I was completely wound up like a spring.  I know where this comes from.

Transition.  Change.  Making decisions that impact every aspect of my life.  This isn't something all that new. It happens to all of us at different times and in varying degrees.  The culprit?  Where do I begin?  or end and does it really matter? What does matter to me is that I unclench and relax... laugh; embracing each moment as if it is the perfect opportunity of a lifetime.  Let's just say that I can do that, then what?

I think what happens after that doesn't matter anymore... the thing that is most important is accepting and loving each little tidbit to be the best... no slipping into the darkness of fear's embrace or frustration's conspiratorial  grasp.  There's a dozen birds on the feeders outside the window.  The weather is calling for planting and there's not even a moment to waste on anything but pure unadulterated joy.  Get to it!

Unfinished Business...

HELP!
They have a name for people like me...laggard, dilly-dallier... slacker and worse.  I have so many projects wanting me to just finish them off.  Halfway constructed quilts - several of them - some partially sewn in my grandmother's own hand, several knitting endeavors, crocheted hats awaiting the matching scarfs, stuffed animal toys I had every intention of sewing together lovingly, aprons, tote bags, costumes for the grandbabes, not to mention the necessary  mending.

There is the box of CDs that I have plans for...perhaps turning them into bird and deer deterrents for gardens or could be that crazy idea for a fashionable evening gown; tiny bottles collected with labels removed for window ornaments; copper pipe, wire and cholla cacti wood for wind chime construction; rocks, shells, and my precious bone collection for what...?   I have railroad spikes to be welded into yard ornaments, photo albums sans photos, totes of fabric collected from closets, flea markets or waiting to be "repurposed", a box of my Dad's old ties to turn into something useful that can be used everyday, recipes of my great aunt's and mom's for compiling into a cool family cookbook and thousands of beads...maybe even a million!

I have old photos to scan and catalog so they won't be lost to future generations of Chaneys, Erskines, Beans, Jacksons, and Berrys, watercolor art to work on, piano music to practice and my Dad's microscopic handwriting from a 5 year diary in the 30's to transcribe into readable and legible type.  And don't forget the stuff I need to get to posting on Craig's List and FreeCycle, just to scale down a teensy bit...again.

The only thing I can figure is that I either have a serious case of ADD or... I too often make the choice to live in the moment, enjoying the flurry of activity at my Mother's backyard birdbath, or slamming down dominoes in a heated contest between old friends or even pulling weeds that will come back with a vengeance in a week or two.  I'll forgo even the easiest project to drag myself to Jazzercise class with Cheryl where we sweat like rockstars but walk out looking  like the Michelin tire men with yoga mats.  I figure that it must be that I choose things that move and breathe(barely, when it comes to exercise) over things that do not.  Craving aliveness, movement, breath, growth...and while I absolutely LOVE to be creative and see a project completed, it just seems to be about as important as the pile of dirty laundry I walk by and ignore...

So... my challenge is this:  to get some really great ideas from YOU on how to manage this mess.  I'd like to have your comments show up on my blog page so...please subscribe!  You can do this by clicking "follow" on the left of the page.

Turning...

This is so strange...but wonderful.  Not getting up in the morning anticipating working for someone; not having an agenda constantly running through my mind of prioritized activities and actions.  No meetings.  No managing people or time.  No paycheck.  No, I'm not retired.

I had to turn a corner 6 months ago and let my work at Habitat for Humanity move to another set of capable hands.  Even though it was often rewarding and fun, there were other responsibilities drawing me away into a different and necessary routine; the routine of no schedules, no co-workers, no supervisors or boards, committees or clients except one... my family.

 My immediate family is in several places: Son Bryant lives in Lakewood, Colorado which is really considered "Denver" with his partner Janelle and their son Evan Aaron.  Styles McKenzie, Bryant's youngest is a few miles away; my 'sister' Janine and 'brother' Jon with the redhead clan spread hither and yon in mostly the front range region of Colorado; my mother, brother and sister in San Bernardino, California; and my husband Victor and I reside in Durango, Colorado with various small barnyard type animals.

My Mom, who is maintaining her independence and continues to live on her own in the only house I grew up in, had some challenges that required assistance.  Nothing dire or life-threatening, but she has reached a point where she needed a hand to keep her head above daily tasks.  We all need that and I know that Mom appreciates the help although she may not fully realize the need.

Helping Mom is only part of the reason that I sought to make some changes but that is another not so daily  dairy post in the future.  For now, it appears that I'm headed in a better direction - happier, healthier and learning a thing or two about patience, listening and love.

Pooh to Valentine's Day ~ Yes to V-Day!

What is this ridiculous expense we go to for this day supposedly for romance and love...! Do you really think that special someone should buy that card or box of expensive (or not) chocolates or bouquet of roses from a pesticided Central American flower operation just because some guys named Valentine (maybe three of them) became Christian martyrs which had nothing to do with love at all; then the powers that were, decided to tie in a Saint to the current pagan celebration; which then, much later became a misinterpretation of a poem of Chaucer; that turned into the exploitation of feuding (or not) lovers to blissfully unite upon receipt of a special card or gift...(ok- so that's not an accurate assessment, but look it up - it's really pretty muddled and crazy).

The bottom line is...yes, it's nice for that special someone to remember you on this day...but what about all the rest of the year? Just one day to show that you care and with a box of chocolates that will just add to your waistline or worse? And yes, of course it's nice to know that you will wear red or pink or lavender with matching red hearts hanging from your ear lobes so you have that one nailed...but I can't help but rebel against the obnoxiousness of it all - reducing caring, commitment and love to candy hearts and dinner out?

Do I sound like a sour apple here? I'm really not. I just abhor the way consumerism has taken a hold of every special occasion and holiday and put a price tag on it... and an expectation that if one doesn't receive something, anything...they are not loved or cared for or worthy. Which brings me to an awesome cause to support on this day and everyday. Check out this link for a meaningful way to contribute.

Oh, and I secretly love getting flowers....shhhh.

Snow

Written a week ago... I never said it would be current! It's snowing in Evergreen... and Durango and most of Colorado today and yesterday and probably tomorrow. This has been an intense snowfall winter and I'm sorry to say that I have missed the good things about it by being mostly in California. Snowshoeing and cross-country skiing with friends, the SnowDown festival, the lovely peacefulness the winter snow brings to the highway we live close to, staying inside to sew and craft and writing are all fun snowy day activities.

Today I am in Evergreen where there is an accumulation of about 6"; not much compared to Durango's 80". I stay inside even though walking or driving is possible. I'm spending too much time on my computer these days; don't really understand why so much except that it's a way to avoid anything and everything I need to do.

I've been so fortunate to have spent some days with grand babies while I've been here. Evan is three and Styles will be a year old the end of February. They are beautiful boys - I hope their parents guide them carefully, helping them discover all they need to be happy in this crazy, chaotic world they'll be growing up in.

As for me...I'll be heading back to Durango in the morning to pull together income taxes, clean the chicken coop (and the house I'm sure), and maybe get in some time cross country skiing or snow shoeing with friends.